LUCY SUCKS

In other news, it has been reported that the CIA has found Saddam Hussein's missing stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction in Guatemala.

Sources at the Pentagon and CIA headquarters have said that the WMDs are in the possession of a person called "Warhead Lucy". It is at present unclear if "Warhead Lucy" is a former member of the Saddam regime, and if so, what role he or she played.

At a White House press conference, President Bush announced these findings, and that the United States would soon take action against Warhead Lucy.

In closing, the President said 'Lucy sucks'.